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We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

At the Top of the Mountain

by In My Lungs

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1.
IKB 191 02:20
At the top of the mountain you taught me not to see and I never want to see again. From your window the sun is taking its time. My eyes are out of my head and on the ground. Leave them there for someone else. And what do you call that shade of blue? Like Klein on the canvas, I'm painting you. In 1962.
2.
Ayya Khema 03:14
And I'll keep dying my hair until it all falls out. And then I'll by a wig, and cover up my scalp. I'll clench my jaw shut when someone walks by. I want to look good and make it defined. And everyone I see there's one thing on my mind. I lay there in my bed, and I float just above and behind my head. The other two are gone, I listen to 'Father and Son' I am not Sam, or the space in between the sides of my head, that just helps me read. I feel myself fill this space. My skin is round, I make a funny face. And then I'm small and covered in tattoos. Wrinkled and rotten, just the opposite. And I know I'm alone, I know I didn't see you. I am not Sam, or the space in between the sides of my head, that just helps me read.
3.
Still Life 03:27
4.
Hrre 03:43
I wish you felt right. And I can picture every face, and I'm dancing with you. I did, I don't want everything to go back. You're holding my hand, the song just play thru. I just want to close my eyes I don't want to care, and tell myself you're right there. I know that I always love you This Must be the Place out of view. It's different now, the two kids in the green Mercedes got away somehow. If I look back I'll start to cry. Touch my fingers to my lips as I pass beneath the yellow light. What do you hope for, when you touch the visor? What do I? Is it to thank God that we made it thru on a yellow light? Or to stop the cars that'll come once its red? So we don't die? And I never meant to hurt you, I just didn't know what to do. I know that I always love you This Must be the Place out of view.
5.
I wanna go back to, but that's the one thing I can't do. The monster is aging, my life is changing. So I need the art of removiola. Give me the art of removiola.
6.
What would I do if you called me tomorrow? Would I follow John's words and listen to my ringtone? Would I answer in silence and wait for your voice? Or quickly say hi 'cause I don't have a choice. What time would you call, and where would it be from? What will I say to make you want to hang up? What could I say to make everything fine? So all I can hear is you laughing thru the line. But why would you call? Why would you do something that has no point at all. I don't mind this life, at least I don't know what it could have been like. Not long ago my life was so boring. A small part of me wanted someone to die. Or some other reason to selfishly cry. I don't know what it is but sometimes, sadness feels right. But now that I'm here and the death has arrived, I'm stuck with the same tears I romanticized. But when it's so real it's the last thing I want. For tragedy, only an idiot taunts. But why would you call? Why would you do something that has no point at all. I don't mind this life, at least I don't know what it could have been like.
7.
SAM 02:03
I don't really feel like, the time has come alright? It's the movelessness, and the changelessness and I know, I know, I know. I don't want to know. If I'm not feeling right, the future holds me tight.
8.
Summer 03:48
I'm trying to wake up, from this dream, baby believe. Please be there how I wasn't. I need you now baby believe. You talk to me when we felt alright. You talk to me when you're here last night. You talk to me and now I'm feeling like I don't know what to say, and you say to me: "Don't tell me how you feel, there's nothing I can do." I have nobody out there who can help me!!!!!!!

about

written and recorded by me from march 2018 - may 2019

credits

released May 19, 2019

additional guitar by skyler on hrre
cover photo taken by @julia.kley

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In My Lungs New York, New York

i am not sam or the space in between the sides of my head.

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